“Piggybabes” to “Be”


Like most of younger siblings, I too got bullied and had snobbish moments with my older sibling. I am the youngest and luckily, I have a bully brother before me. He really was a bully and aloof towards me. I used to envy my friends who have older brother or sister who is very caring, sweet, and close to them. Never did I think that my brother would change. He was mean to me, BIGTIME. He treated me like not even a single gene was common in our body, like we were not from the same womb who bore us! I cried a lot of times of course. I prayed for my brother for years. And amazingly, a miracle happened!!

We’re not the closest sibling but we have improved, seriously! Things started to cool down between us when he was in his college years. He became a relatively caring and sweet. He asks for my opinion on his outfits–which I very much like of course! He even asks me to accompany him to malls when he is to buy something. Before, he didn’t even want people to know we’re siblings. Haha. Him, going out with me, is totally a miracle! Also, never did we talk about personal things like friendship, lovelife, etc. but now, just lately really, we started to talk about them. I felt that we’re starting to build a strong bond–which really really have to especially we’re just two. It was my dream to have a talk with my brother about lovelife/guys. I wanted his opinion as a guy and advice as mu brother. I opened up lately. At first, he showed indifference and lack of concern but eventually started to ask questions and gave me some advice. Cool right? πŸ™‚ Though it wasn’t the deep talk and all, still, he talked to me about it! Haha. I really appreciated the concern I felt when he told me I should be careful. Really :”> We also now talk about opinions and stuff. That was awkward before. Talking was awkward now. Good thing it’s getting casual now. (I like our deep talks actually ;)) And now, we finally have a bond–I hope it’s consistent though. We are jogging/running/fitness buddies! He really takes care of me on this. I’m sincerely touched! I’m feeling his eagerness for me to move my body and start sweating. When I refuse to wake up early, he really drags my body off the bed. Funny situation really. And when jogging, he pushes me to go further. Ever since, I wanted to have a bond with my brother and now it’s happening. Hope we’re consistent on this! Healthy and fun way of bonding.

My brother has flaws, like me. I and my parents often face conflict in dealing with him. There are even times where I want him out of the house. But as I talk and bond with him, I feel that he’s not as bad and hard hearted as I thought him as. At least now, he’s changing. He may be rude, stubborn, selfish, and cold but there’s always the other side of those–this I am sure of. I feel it. I thank God for that. Years, I questioned God why my brother was like that before and why he wasn’t changing. I though God wasn’t answering me but now, I feel the miracle. Hope the changes continue. Still, no matter what, I won’t give up on him. He still got my back whatever what happens. πŸ™‚ and oh, thank you for not calling me piggybabes anymore! haha ayiie love na niya ko. Be na ang tawag niya sakin”I love you too kuya! πŸ™‚

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That Thing Called Thinking


I actually have an article pending on my desk right now. I’m half way through though. I just feel like writing beyond what I suppose to write. Plus, tasks are getting few here at the office and I have four days left so if I finish everything quickly, I’ll die due to boredom. Haha. Kidding.

But anyway so, I don’t have anything in mind yet to talk about. Prolly, as I continue writing I’ll figure something out. Hmmmm. Well there I have it.

I recently watched a video of an Asian who makes burger in a very efficient and creative way in 9gag. When I say efficient and creative, it really is, 200%!
After I watched that, I thought of how people could really be awesome in what they do. That way of cooking never crossed my mind! And then I told myself that there could probably be tons of ideas that never crossed my mind! Ever! That just not goes for me but for other people as well.
Do you know America’s Got Talent? Or in our context, Pilipinas Got Talent? See how many talented and creative people are doing their thing there. Who could imagine for all those act to be possible and doable by a person?

It just proves how we could really be amazing as humans. We have the brains and maybe of we just exercise the what you called ‘thinking’ (like hardcore thinking) then maybe each of us could think of something brilliant, something very productive or extraordinary. We could have our own expertise or masterpiece in any field we are into or in any field no one yet has thought of. Thing is, we mostly don’t maximize our potentials and develop ourselves. If we could get our brains’ folds and grooves a bit more complicated then something really exceptional could happen. πŸ™‚

And oh did you know that Einstein’s brain folds were more complicated than of ordinary human hehe. It just proves. πŸ˜‰

It Goes Beyond the Action


Everything else was romantic but it just didn’t feel right.

These stargazers were so lovely. The way you surprised me, gave it to me, and serenaded me were as well lovely. I admit that it was the first time, ever, that a guy paid due courtesy just to ask if he could court me. That’s very gentleman of you. Thank you. It’s also the first time that someone made efforts to come up with a surprise like you did and first time for me to be serenaded. What you did is exactly how I dreamt to be treated by a guy who have feelings for me. The moment I heard the guitar playing and you singing, my heart was overwhelmed but on top of that were nervousness and desire to make you stop.
Everything was really sweet, just like in the movies. It was what I dreamt of for years ever since I was a kid, but it just felt so wrong. At that moment, I want everyone else be gone and make you stop.

I couldn’t bare someone taking too much efforts for something that I couldn’t requite. Well of course I want someone to make efforts for me. I’ve been into relationships which I mostly gave the efforts and it’s kind of frustrating–me giving much and getting less or me giving much and being take for granted abused (efforts wised).
I am sweet and romantic. I admit that. And before I was really hoping for something romantic to happen to me. I felt like I was worth something special when you had the surprise for me but it was just so wrong. I really asked myself why it felt such. It was very romantic but it was killing me, seriously. I actually worry about you. Did I make you feel down? I don’t want you to feel down or rejected or any feeling that could make you think you’re any less the person you are. That’s the reason why I wanted you to stop at that moment; I didn’t want to hurt you. I don’t want you to feel like how I felt before when people left me or rejected me. You are ok. You are really ok. It’s just that I don’t feel it.
I think, we could really feel that ‘thing’ if the person is the right one. I wanted to be extra sure on this feeling lately. I’ve been through pains and I just want to guard myself. I could have given you the chance but that could mean more hurting especially on your part. I could have chosen to be treated extra special like if I allowed you to court me; I could take advantage but it kills my conscience. So me, not giving you a chance is not because I’m selfish or anything. I just don’t want your efforts be into waste cause I know how it feels and I don’t want to hurt you even more.

When I told you ‘no’, things of course changed. You used to be a good friend of mine. Even though you told me you’d still stay the same, I knew you wouldn’t. I actually hoped for that cause I know it wouldn’t be easy for you. You were sincere, I felt it. And it’s better if we would really be distant. It’s safer for you. I got sad when our friendship fell down. But, it’s better choice to save yourself.

Thank you for making me realize something. That cheezy romantic stuff I’ve been dreaming of is less of what I really want. I thought it’s enough to just experience that, that it could really make me happy. But, I realized that any action could be special or romantic as long as you feel the same feeling for the person doing it. The simplest act in the world could be the sweetest as long as it’s the person you love who did it for you. Thank you for letting me mature on thoughts of having that romantic shiz in the movies.

And oh, these flowers really did smell good!! Plus, they’re pretty. You went beyond the roses, good point there. Guys, why don’t you try giving stargazers or anything beyond roses? πŸ™‚

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Yea. Summer.


So uhm. I’m having a quite different summer this year. Biggest thing is that I’m busy. My mind is preoccupied. Thank God for my internship. I used to hate summers. Not really despise though but I wasn’t that excited for summer. Why? I don’t get to places I want to be at. I get bored at home and I couldn’t go out as often as I want. I’m quite alone at home so, that’s relatively sad or boring. Well yea, we’re just few in the family that’s why. My mother’s busiest season on her job is during summer so I couldn’t really bother her most of the time to go out and see the sun. Plus, she has weak body. she couldn’t stand too much tiredness, long walk, or heat because of her health. Brother, however, is busy on his thing, whatever thing is he into every summer. Well now, he’s at law school and going to the office with mom. And, dad works abroad.

I’ve been quite dreamy of my summers. I really want to go out, explore, see things, take pictures, eat, stare at the sky, and laugh. I think I’m the only quite that type in the family so I couldn’t tag anyone along with me. Sana gala nalang din sila haha. Well this summer I had went out somehow, mostly malls though. Thank goodness I went to the beach with super fun friends. I had something very memorable this summer. If I could just linger at that moment, I would.

But anyway, going back, what’s keeping me busy is my internship at ABS CBN Bayan Academy. Its focus is on social entrepreneurship and human resource management–very related to my course. I get to do writing, interviewing, video editing, translating, and other office work. I’m having fun. And the most important reason I’m glad I’m having my internship is that it’s keeping me busy, 8hours of work per day excluding weekends. Then I get to stay at Manila. It eats a lot of my time.

Me, being quite alone, makes me think of things–that happened or I’m dreaming to happen. I get worried at times, sad, and excited. Basically, a hodge pudge of emotions. It’s apparent in this blog, ever since I started, that I am quite emotional. Haha. Sorry with the laugh. I just really did laugh while I typed ’emotional’. :p But yes. It’s apparent. With me, growing, I want to change of course, grow holistically. I used to be depressed due to sad or lame summers. Adding to that is all the things I remember or think of when I get stuck here at home during summer. Now, I feel that I’ve quite pass that phase, somehow. But I actually wonder if what if I’m not having my internship, would my feeling stay the same? Hmmm. Well I hope yes. I might not have the kind of summer vacation I dream of but I have to be mature enough to face things I cannot change as of the moment. Well, I couldn’t force my family to go out and have the fun time as I wanted it to happen nor fight with my mom just to let me out of the house. I got to understand situations. I know time will come that summers would be way better than this or the previous ones. I know. I just have to stay positive on that and enjoy what I have right now. Well, it’s fun sleeping though haha. And, watching? And this, blogging.

To others, happy summer guys. Enjoy! πŸ™‚

Eyebrows Matter


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I don’t post much of my vanity here. But I just want to share how important eyebrows are if you want to lift the beauty of your face. Ladies, good make up isn’t enough. It’s the eyebrows which pull off your makeup. Really. Good shape and tidy brows lifts your face. I recommend Brow Lounge. They’re expert in reshaping and tidying your brows. They have branch at SM San Lazaro and SM North Edsa The Annex πŸ˜‰

Date Yourself


I had a date with myself today. Dating myself isn’t my thing. I mean, going out and wandering around alone isn’t my thing. I wanted someone to be with me most of the time. I feel sad whenever I do things alone. But now, I appreciate the value of spending a lone time with yourself.

I didn’t do much actually. I went to the mall I usually don’t go to, had my brows fixed, ate my long missed favorite yogurt, drank apple-cucumber juice, looked around, and burned calories by walking. ‘Twas tiring maaan. But at least I didn’t feel lonely or alone. Maybe I was literally roaming alone but I didn’t feel like I was alone. I realized that aloneness is a deeper state of being. It doesn’t depend on the number of people you’re with or around you. It’s an internal displacement of an individual. And I think, happiness can only truly be felt if one has felt un-alone even if he or she is literally lone.

Go out and try spending time with yourself. Not all the time though but at least somehow. Besides, you can’t always have someone to accompany you. Pamper yourself a bit. Indulge a little, just still know your limits and priorities. Enjoy yourself. πŸ™‚

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Had this pic of Baker’s Hat yogurt from White Hat πŸ™‚ I missed this!

First Call.


Instead of telling what saddened me last night, let’s see the brighter side of what happened.Β 

I claim that I am emotional ever since I was a kid. A few do I know whom could really understand or at least make me feel comforted. People, at times, instead of comforting could make the other party feel otherwise. But, I still do thank those people for their concern.Β 

Unexpectedly, someone amazed me by how he comforted me. It was a atypical. I never thought such atypical conversation and empathy could really calm me and make me feel better. It was the first time I felt that. And it’s amazing. He even told me some few lines when Β I thought to myself that I look stupid in crying and releasing my emotions. What he did is beyond what I expected. What you said woke me up. You’re right. And I was surprised that you said that. I never had that reaction or advice before. I am glad, very glad.

Before, I used to say, “I hope someone could understand and comfort me the way I wanted to be”. It happened. Alleluia. It happened without me asking or begging for it. The ease I felt last night was greater than the pain I felt.Β 

To you, I know you know who you are and you might stroll around the net and read my blog. Thank you. It was your first ever call to me. Thank you for wishing you could do more but I tell you, what you did is more than what is best for what I needed last night. Thank you for giving me the hope that still, someone could really listen, understand, and do not judge me. Thank you for laughing at me cause I know and felt Β it’s a laugh of concern and not tease. It made me laugh as well.Β 

You are amazing.Β