When You Love


They say, love hurts. Others say, if it’s true love, it won’t hurt. I say love will hurt but if it’s true, pain will eventually fade away.

Love hurts because people who love, sacrifice. Love without sacrifice isn’t true love. And in this, I firmly believe. Sacrifice cause of love comes in different ways–for your partner, your family, friends, and all other humanity.

We all have choices in life and the choices we choose aren’t always what we want or what we think will make us happy. Nonetheless, we let go of what we want for the people we love, we love truly. We sometimes see opportunities, chances, and people go away because we sacrifice them. It will hurt of course. Loving with sacrificing will never be easy. But it will be fulfilling; maybe not now but in time.

They say life is how we make it. It’s true. We all have the freedom to choose and do what we want. That’s why I salute you people, who sacrifice your life choices for the people you love.

Life Wouldn’t Handle Itself Well for You


Most of the time, no matter how you badly want to, you can’t change how things are nor control them. The only thing you could control is the way you’ll face life situations and that’s reality. Handle yourself well. Make good decisions. Life wouldn’t handle itself well for you. 

I recently had the above statement posted on my Facebook account. Having realize such is step one for me. Certainly, the next step to do is to prove I can handle myself well. Fighting your weaknesses is one of the hardest battle one could face. Whenever I struggle fighting myself, I’m torn into hating myself or loving myself. Thoughts gush in my mind. And I admit, I sometimes couldn’t handle things well. 

Two friends of mine have given me very wise advice and I think these two people based it from their current or past life experiences. One had told me that if you can’t change whatever situation you are into, consider that situation as reality than a problem. Problem has solutions and reality seemingly hasn’t. Reality is something you have to face, conquer every single waking day. No matter how much you want to alter it, you couldn’t. 

Another friend had told me that, changing the situation you are facing wouldn’t happen in one or two glimpses, nor in days, weeks, or months. It could take you years. So in that process, be patient. Don’t drown into the struggle. Fight with a positive outlook and heart cause if you don’t no one else will lose but you. 

There are things in life I find hard to accept or face. These built up my frustrations, fears, and insecurities. But both of my friends are absolutely right. This is reality and having the change I want comes in a process. If i wouldn’t handle myself well, I’ll truly lose the game. Life always challenges people. I salute people who carry on well, those who survive with peace in mind and happy heart. 

I’m just 20. If graced, there could be more than double of my current age to face. Certainly, a lot more episodes in life to be faced. I know i’m not alone, I have loved ones with me who sometimes become part of the challenges I face, but still also inspire me. I have to help myself. It’s still all up to me in the end. 

I’m Winning This


Before, I was focused looking for someone who would understand the entirety of me, but now I am challenged to be better. I want to be better for you. 

I felt blessed when God gave me people who tried to understand me. But now I feel more blessed because he gave me someone who just doesn’t understand me but inspires me to be better. This feeling is different, very different. This time, I realize that I just don’t need a mere understanding from others, particularly from someone special to me. I also have to change, be better. Not totally change the whole me but my flaws, evolve, be better.

I get scared when I feel weak, when I feel it’s hard for me to change. It’s like some of the things that make me weak were inborn. I sometimes feel hopeless on them. But I swear, I’m fighting. I could have fought before but I’m fighting more now. I’m doing my best to gain all the will I could just to not lose on this.

Some could just laugh at this or see this as a petty problem of mine. But seriously, this drags me down. I don’t want to drag you down too together with me because of this. You matter to me, so so much. That’s why no matter how hard this is for me, I’m not giving up. Just please hold on. Please.

Babe, sorry..
for thinking too much
for letting my emotions beat me
for all the internal and external loads I bear and for you always hearing them.

I say sorry not because I did something wrong to you. I say sorry because I know you don’t want to see me
having a hard time on this. I don’t want to worry you anymore, or make you sad. Making you worried or sad in any way because of me, saddens me.

Just as much as you want to be not a burden to me, I want to be your lighter side too.  Just as much as you want to make me happy, I want to give you more reasons to be happy too. I just always want to make you feel loved. 

It’s always the hardest when yourself is your own enemy. It’s like you don’t know how to beat yourself. But again, I can’t lose this. I’ll let this move me every single day. For you, and myself. For us. I’ll stay positive.  You deserve the best, no matter who you are and what you have right now, you still deserve the best. Please trust me when I say I’ll be better.

Thank you for always keeping the faith in me.

Blessed


Remember how I explicitly tell in my blogs that I’m in doubt of falling in love?
That doubt is now gone.

To you, the extra but definitely big blessing who came into my life, thank you for removing my doubt. Thank you for removing my fear and anxiety. Yes. There’s still a bit of them but I feel it, sincerely, that the next chapters of my life having you will totally remove those hindrances on believing in love. Truly, words can’t sometimes express that ardent feeling of love, of why you are in love. When you came, words telling where-have-you-been-all-my-life and i-must-have-done-something-really-good-to-have-you-in-my-life were uttered out of my lips. Yet, those words weren’t still enough to disclose how I feel.

You are the total opposite of everything I thought I just deserve. You made me feel my worth. When you came, you gave me back my sense of worth and delicacy. The love and respect I thought I’d never found are found in you. You are the brighter side of all the heartaches I felt. I thank God for leading the way to you. Like how you are a blessing to me now, I’ll do my best to be a blessing to you as well. Everyday, you still never fail to amaze me. You never fail to be a God’s blessing for me.

I’m certainly feeling that there’s no need to count in how long we’ve known and been with each other, cause we, whatever we have right now, goes beyond time. We transcend time.

Thank you for believing and trusting me especially in the times where I lose mine for myself.

To my supporter, best friend, partner in crime, shoulder to cry on, my gentle driver, my number one fan, body guard, my lighter side of everything, I love you.

We may get through rough roads, but I trust the foundation we have. I trust you. We won’t falter.

To infinity and beyond 🙂

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Intimidating could be Good (at times)


I am intimidating?
I am intimidating.
Both a question and a statement indeed.

People regard me as someone who snobs or doesn’t even care to have glimpse when they pass. UNAFFABLE. Perfect word for how some or most perceive me. But why? They say there’s something about my eyes, eyebrows, and hair. I think I have an almond-ish sharp eyes, slightly arc shape brows, and curly long hair. Most of the people I ask about why do I look unaffable answer those three parts of my body. And some say with how I look, overall.

I am not sure if being intimidating goes with this as well. Is unaffable or looking unaffable directly related to intimidating? I’m not really sure but I sometimes think it is. But hmm, I know few people who know that I’m really the opposite of unaffable but still see me as intimidating. Still because of my body parts? Get up? Hmmm.

Fact : I am friendly, approachable, and generally nice to people (even to strangers). I have witnesses for this. :p

Going back, earlier, someone confirmed the oh-this-girl-is-intimidating feel I have is true. I look intimidating and I even do intimidate him. I was worried. I don’t want to intimidate anyone (well case to case basis–e.g work or facing perverts–wherein intimidation could be positive). And I especially don’t want to intimidate him. But suprisingly, he considered the intimidation positive. ‘It’s actually great’ were actually his response. I thought it would be bad but thank goodness not for him. I don’t know why it’s ok but as long as he feels ok about it, I’m more than good on it. Adding to my surprise is the fact that I think he is way better than me as a whole. I even get shy on him for I think I’m little below his level of wit. But hey, thank you for seeing this issue as great. You are amazing as always. 🙂

It’s good for him but how about other people? It could be otherwise on them. The intimidating vibe I have could make them scared then stay away from me and not try to befriend me. Or! Have that as their first and last impression of me. I hope not, really. But if I do give out that kind of vibe to other people, I’d see to it to ALWAYS SMILE on them at least to equalize the intimidating vibe. I couldn’t change my brows and eyes. I love my style and even if I’d have my hair straightened, I think nothing would change so, in short, I think I really have this feel. I am trying to level this off swear.

What I hope is for other people who see me as intimidating to have the same reaction as to the one I mentioned as ‘he’ a while ago. I hope it’s no bad for them like how he sees me. I am hoping for this ‘intimidation’ to be some sort of inspiration. I don’t know how though but when they see me I wish to give out some good vibes on them and not scare them away. Or if I do intimidate them, I hope that feeling would push them to be better than the person they are. Please just don’t hate me or be mad at me. This aura of mine is more or less inborn.
Plus, the whole aura I give out isn’t always how am I as a person. It doesn’t define me. I could be the totally opposite of that. I might look ‘smart’ or ‘mature’ or ‘tough’ or ‘unaffable’ as some people see me) but oh God, you could be better than me on all sort of things. Trust me. I know some who tell me I am intimidating but as a matter fact, it’s them who intimidate me because of their personality, wit, and creativity.

Yes. I do intimidate. But, I also get intimidated by people who think that they don’t. You guys are very very awesome in ways you might just don’t realize.

To people who get intimidated, treat that as a challenge or an inspiration to always always improve and develop. Don’t let the intimidation scare you and most especially give you a prejudice of who the person really is.